Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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