It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Randomize
