DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
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