he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Randomize
