Four minutes until I can fart!
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
wow bdsm is so cute
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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