Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
