Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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