can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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