Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Randomize
