This girl is more easily done than said...
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
