You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
