you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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