mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Randomize
