"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
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You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
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The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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