he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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