Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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