I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
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Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
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we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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