Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize