weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
