you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
