I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Randomize
