Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
