Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Say something about gay babies.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Randomize
