So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
where does the pee come out of this thing
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
