I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
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He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
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the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
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