the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
