Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
