Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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