What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I am full of burrito and curiosity
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
