so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
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