dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Why is your signature on my underwear?
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
