In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
soo... how was my night?
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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