Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
