well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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