ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize