I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
