forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
