Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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