I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
