Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
try to milk me bitch
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
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