So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Terrible idea I love it
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
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