After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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