I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
