ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
