I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
