we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
cat food counts as protein by the way
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
