so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
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