He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
