I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
