So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Randomize
