I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Randomize
