You really coming over, don't trick.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
