We're facebook friends in real life
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
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