If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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