Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
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